It’s A Great Day to Be Gay

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I have been married for 12 years. When I announced my engagement 13 years ago to family and friends, I received love and excitement from almost everyone. It was a normal engagement and very exciting time for my future husband and I. We had family and friends join us. It was exactly what it should have been. We had our share of fights and disagreements about flowers and food. It was a bit more stressful because we were mixing cultures and races, but at the end of the day we were blessed. No one felt it necessary to picket my wedding. No articles were written deeming my choice blasphemy. No one uttered a peep about our future children. It was just a union between a brown boy and a white girl. It was what we wanted and no one stood in our way. It was a great day.

Today is a great day. Today is the day that my best friend can happily travel the United States and say in every state that they are legally bound. Today is a day that recognizes them as husband and husband. Today is the day that they can proudly say they are recognized by the government of the United States. I am happy for them today. I am saddened by the fact that it has taken this long, but today is a great day. I am happy to live in a place where opinions are valued and freedoms are protected. I am excited for all of the couples who have been waiting for this day. A day that I took for granted 12 years ago. A day that I always thought was my right to have. That day 12 years ago was given to me, but my best friends had to fight for today. They had to fight for a right that I took for granted. The right to be married.

I am filled with joy, love, and patriotism today. Today I am feeling pretty gay. Marriage is for anyone who will lay their life down for someone they love. Marriage is for anyone who will take care of their spouses needs over their own. Marriage is for anyone who wants to raise a family with someone who shares their core values and beliefs. Marriage is not a secret club. Marriage is not a privilege. Marriage is a right.

So today I say congratulations. It’s about time that tolerance and acceptance are the headlines in the news. Today is a great day to be gay.

Rachel Dolezal, Really?

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I am not positive why this story has struck such a strong chord with me. It might be because I am a white woman who married and had children with a brown man. My children vary in skin tone and have wild uncontrollable hair. At the end of the day, my children are a product of my husband and I. His genetics, obviously more powerful than mine. I often joke that I would like a maternity test, simply because they look nothing like me.

As a parent, I would be upset if my child lied about their race or lineage. My children are part of me and that would be devastating. I understand that she claims to identify with African-American culture and feels that she is a Black woman. However, it seems that her “feelings” have a tendency to change. I agree with Matt Lauer and his statement that she is “deceiving” people for her benefit. To Rachel I say, “Be whoever, whatever, you want, to be. But Rachel, please do not lie.” If you have no interest in having a relationship with your family, that is your choice, but you cannot change your genetics.

When my children were old enough to come home and ask, “Mommy, why is my skin a different color than my friends?” It was a quick answer, “Honey, you are a mix of Mommy and Daddy. Mommy is white and Daddy is brown. So together, you are a beautiful Caramel Macchiato.” Mommy loves Starbucks, so she understood the reference.

Lying to gain leverage in the NAACP, or for financial or political gain is wrong no matter what color you are. That has nothing to do with the color of your skin, that is simply a portrait of your character. We are growing and changing as a nation. It is wonderful to see tolerance and respect for others grow and flourish. However, I find it sad and disheartening to witness someone lie under the guise “racial complexity.” From one mother to another; Rachel, honesty is the best policy.
About the author: Meredith is a work from home mother of three, who spends most of her time saving for pre-paid therapy for her future adult children. Let’s be honest, they might not all go to college, but odds are they will all need a therapist at some point. Meredith writes about the inappropriate side of marriage and motherhood on her blog, thatsinappropriate.net. She is also a contributor on the parenting team at today.com. You can track her down on Medium , Facebook and on the Huffington Post

The 5 Stages Of Whining

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I can tolerate a lot of things. I do pretty well with reason, logic, questioning, arguments, and even miss-communication. I however, do not do well with whining. This is a HUGE problem in my home. I house three children under the age of 10 and they all seem to suffer from CWS (Chronic Whining Syndrome). I recently read an article about grief and grief counseling and I realized that whining also follows those 5 stages.

1. Denial: It’s 6:45 A.M. My four-year-old enters the kitchen whining that his shoes do not fit. They fit yesterday, but today, they do not fit. He is hellaciously whining about his socks and shoes and the fact that this combination will not be occurring today. My approach, I deny his whines  and continue to pack school lunches. I ignore his tone and move on to my next activity. I act as though he is nonexistent. I step over him to put on the coffee pot.

2. Anger: The four-year-old continues to whine until my pre-coffee self, raises my voice and states. “Put on your shoes, or you are going to school without them.” I know he needs shoes to go to school, but I have 23 minutes to get out the door with three children dressed, fed, and lunches packed.  The four-year-old begins to flail around making unhappy tile angels on my kitchen floor. Staring at me with disdain and arms tightly folded, his protest escalates.

3. Bargaining: I sit on the floor and take a deep breath. “We have to put on your shoes so we can get to school on time. You want to see your friends right?” He looks at me as though he wants to run me through with a Samurai sword. “I want to wear flip-flops” he demands. “OK, but flip-flops are not allowed at school. It is against the rules. You don’t want to break the rules do you?” I ask. “No, but I WANT to wear flip-flops. PLEASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSE MOM, I WANT TO WEAR FLIP FLOPS.” The whining is now grating on every bone in my body. It is my kryptonite. I can barely stand it anymore.

4. Depression: This is the point where I sit on the kitchen floor and think, “This is my life. I mean, seriously this is my life?  Every. Freaking. Day. This is the shit I deal with. WTF. Why can’t he put on his shoes and get ready.” He looks deep into my eyes and says, “Mom, why are you so mean to me. Why do you make me get dressed every day?”  Why does it have to be so damn difficult? I just don’t get it! I mean, I like flip-flops too, but seriously. Every. Damn. Day.

5. Acceptance: “Honey, I understand that you want to wear flip-flops, but rules are rules. How about we bring the flip-flops in the car and you can change after school?” I am almost positive that this will work. I can see the wheels turning in his head. He is methodically planning his next move. It’s like playing  chess with freaking Bobby Fisher. “No Mom, I will just wear my boots.” You have got to be freaking kidding me!

Meredith Masony

That’s Inappropriate

 

5 Questions I Redirect With “Go Ask Your Father”

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Having three kids under the age of 9 can be exhausting. Let’s be honest, most days I look like a character out of the Walking Dead. Thankfully I have a wonderful husband who is my perfect parenting partner. My kids can be very demanding and when they come calling with certain requests, I simply say “Go ask your Father.”  Here is a list of 5 questions that are automatically redirected to Dad.

1. Can you build me a fort? My husband is a serious wanna-be architect. Anytime the kids ask for a fort, Dad is the man with a plan. I have walked into a living room that rivals the catacombs of Paris. He is always up for a fort building challenge.

2. Can we play Batman? Superheroes are no match for my man. Daddy will play Batman, Spiderman, Ironman, or any combination of the Marvel men that make you gasp. My boys love to have Superhero inspired dodgeball events in my living room, and Daddy is usually the culprit who started the match.

3. Can we go fishing? We live on a lake with tons of fish and creepy crawlies. I love to sit and fish with the kids, but only if Daddy is with us. Mommy doesn’t like to bait the hook with the squirmy wormy.

4. Can we watch Star Wars?My kids love action and adventure movies. However, I am no Star Wars fanatic. If the kids want to know what episode Yoda makes an appearance, they will need to ask Storm Trooper number 1. Daddy is also always up for a light saber dual, or Chewbacca tickle party.

5. Can we have dessert? By the time dinner is done and the dishes are put away, I am ready to hit the couch for some peace and quiet. Daddy deals in “dessert duty” at our house. Who wouldn’t love a popsicle, or bowl of cookie dough custard?

So for all the Fathers out who take off the training wheels, spool the fishing line, coach the little league teams, our hats go off to you. Happy fathers day from our family to yours.